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It's like I am watching a parallel life ... a life seen through the foggy and scratched up windows on a train, with scenes that are passing me by faster than I can compute them into my brain. I am watching, hearing, even smelling what my life could be like, what is should have been like, what I expected it to be like ... and perhaps what it is on another plain, another universe. I can't keep the tears from flooding my eyes. Welling up and pouring from my face at a faster pace than I can catch them. No one is here is hear my tears, but I know that they are felt deep within . My head is pounding from all of the sadness, the frustration, the life and the health that has eluded me. Everyone is growing up, moving onward and upward and I feel as I was left in the middle of an empty field, with no exit. With my chin quivering, my stomach aching, and my life flashing by in scenes, now distant beautiful memories, I take to the only thing that I can, and I write.